I'm Still Here

  The Two of Me               I often wonder if there aren’t two of me. The ‘inside’ me and the ‘outward me’. The latter functions properly, meeting all his obligations, taking care of customers and staying in touch with friends and family. It is part and parcel of a commitment I made after my beloved wife died over 6 years ago. The ‘outward’ me tries very hard to maintain a cheerful demeanor, a positive attitude and the rudiments of a normal life. The past year as well as the foreseeable future, being swathed in pandemic and economic uncertainty, as well as a considerable amount of political uncertainty, have wrought for me a life of solitude, a loss of tactile human contact, and a stark realization that my inner life is vastly different than the life that I project to the world. In my inner life, my attachment to mortality is tenuous and disinterested at best. I feel as though I am pacing a cage waiting for an end that I wish would come. My ‘real’ life ended on November 28, 201

  Grievance and Insurrection   At what point then is the approach of danger to be expected? I answer. If it ever reach us it must spring up amongst us; it cannot come from abroad. If destruction be our lot, we must ourselves be its author and finisher. As a nation of freemen, we must live through all time or die by suicide. ABRAHAM LINCOLN   On November 3, 2020, the American people went in historic numbers to their polling places, or in some cases, cast their ballots and mailed them to the appropriate authorities. Many Americans, myself included, carried with them concerns about the Trump administration’s ineptitude, self-enrichment, egregious corruption, as well as its failure to manage the largest public health crisis in over 100 years. Prior to the election, Donald Trump had asserted that if he lost the election, it would be because the election was stolen from him. A significant number of his supporters and right-wing media supported this contention. The ballots were co